I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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