I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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