on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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