Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
