my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
