piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
