my soul wont recognize me after tonight
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My dick has a subreddit
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
