She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
