Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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