Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
