Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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