he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
