Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The feeling are messing with the penis
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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