The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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