# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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