Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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