ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize