why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
