My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize