i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
