it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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