Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
