So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
