I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
