what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
did you just send me my own nude
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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