we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
tell me about the fingering
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
