she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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