He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
