Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
