they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
