I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
