I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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