I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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