people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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