So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
