perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
