on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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