I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
