sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
