i think my tv is drunk
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
