You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
