I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
