the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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