Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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