If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my being single is dangerous.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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