Need sex. Gaining weight.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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