i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
