I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
