I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
