brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
