we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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