you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
