That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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