Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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