so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
