Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
