So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
