U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
