just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
