We're facebook friends in real life
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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