So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
