great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
