Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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